Real Marriage ,Real Mirage

Belowmentioned question and answer is taken from Osho speeches . Ofcourse its not my opinion , i found this interesting ! and i thought it would benefit those with depth enough to understand without judgements or prejudice or pretence . Although we admire ourselves in our evolution as intelligence creatures , little intelligence is seen in the way we react to what happens to us . We are at most times impulses and our reactions are determined by our deeply embedded convictions and prejudice . For me rarely , very rarely do we see individuals with intelligence even in the little things they do , like walking , eating , drinking or even making love . They do it with such deep ecstasy that they seem to be filled with this deep fragrace which is sanctifying almost .There are many such individuals Jesus , Buddha , Krishna , Osho .I know this can be one of the most controversial topic .But read it forget it .Dont take anything personally ! Life happens ..

In a world where even brainless T V serials are ignored and sometimes appreciated , why cant we leave this little small discussion below ..alone ! Leave it if you dont like .Dont react to it too if you find this objectionable ! just a glimpse of a different thought ..thats all



Is there any such thing as a real marriage?

Sugata,
Never heard of it — real marriage? There are real mirages but no real marriage! If it is real, then there is no need for marriage. THE VERY NEED FOR MARRIAGE ARISES BECAUSE THERE IS FEAR.

If you love a person, you love a person; you can be together with the person. BUT THERE IS CONSTANTLY A FEAR THAT THE OTHER PERSON MAY LEAVE YOU, and the other person is also afraid you may leave him or her. To make the future guaranteed, so that you cannot leave, so that the other cannot leave — easily at least — marriage was invented.

Marriage was invented only because love is missing. And if love is missing, how marriage can be real? There is no need for marriage. IF LOVE IS THERE, MARRIAGE IS AN UNNECESSARY PHENOMENON. In a better world, where people will be more mature, they will be together because they love, and they will keep each other free because — one never knows — love may disappear.

And that does not mean that the love was unreal and that's why it disappeared. That too is a very wrong idea that has prevailed for centuries. WE HAVE BEEN OBSESSED BY WRONG IDEAS, AND THEY ARE CREATING SUCH TROUBLE IN OUR LIVES. And still we can't see their wrongness because they are so old and we have become so conditioned to them. If love disappears then we start thinking then it was not real.

In fact, A REAL ROSE FLOWER IS BOUND TO DISAPPEAR BY THE EVENING; only the plastic rose flower will not disappear. The real rose flower blooms, opens up, dances in the wind, in the rain, in the sun, and by the evening is gone. That does not mean that it was unreal; in fact it was so real, that's why it appeared and disappeared. The plastic flower is so unreal that it does not appear and does not disappear, it remains; it is far more permanent.
MARRIAGE IS LIKE A PLASTIC FLOWER; LOVE IS A REAL ROSE. And people are such cowards that they don't want to live with real roses. They are hankering far more after security, safety, guarantees, permanency that they are not ready to risk the real roses and they purchase plastic flowers. Of course those plastic flowers cannot satisfy you — you will remain miserable.
Just one month before, Sagarpriya wrote to me: "Osho, what has happened? I have been here for two and a half years — has something gone wrong because Bindu and I are still together?" I did not answer her question because I was afraid that if I answered it something will happen immediately. So I kept quiet — and it has happened. Now I can answer because now I will not be thought responsible for it. Now Bindu wants to escape, but Sagarpriya is not going to leave him so easily. Just to escape from Sagarpriya he wants to go for few weeks to America. Now Sagarpriya is following him; she also wants to go with him.

WE DON'T ALLOW EACH OTHER FREEDOM; WE CLING TO THE VERY END. We try every possible way. Even when everything disappears we go on clinging, we go on hoping against all hope. And the more we cling, the more we destroy the possibility of love renewing itself again.

Now if Sagarpriya can allow Bindu to go and be there for few weeks alone… He needs his own space — everybody needs it once in a while because love alone is not enough. Love is beautiful, but meditation is far more important. AND MEDITATION NEEDS A DEEP ALONENESS; NOBODY SHOULD INTERFERE. And only lovers can interfere in meditation because only lovers are so close. The marketplace does not interfere, the people who are not related to you cannot interfere, but the people who are very close, very intimate, can be a real disturbance. And they don't allow you any space. And if you want to be alone, they immediately start feeling that they are being rejected. You simply want your own space — and everybody has a need, a tremendous need to have his own space.

But now Sagarpriya will follow him; if there is any possibility, she will destroy even that. THE BEST THING IS TO LET HIM GO, TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM in a nice, beautiful, human way, with no grudge, with no complaint, with no quarreling. If you quarrel too much, if you make such a fuss, then people will start compromising, but compromise cannot fulfill you.

Excerpts fr0m :OSHO
Walking in Zen, Sitting in Zen
Ch #15: So Lost And So At Home
am in Buddha Hall